


When We First Met

by Kageyamallama



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: I just liked the thought of bone man SP with a baby, Inspired by that one scene in Resurrection, Not valdug bc she's a baby c'mon guys, Steph is the baby, Stephanie Edgely - Freeform, There's a baby, it's v self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 07:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20060605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kageyamallama/pseuds/Kageyamallama
Summary: “She’s hungry.” Skulduggery said as Stephanie wailed again. “When did you feed her last?”Gordon hesitated.“Is it possible,” Skulduggery asked. “That you forgot?”





	When We First Met

**Author's Note:**

> Edit 19/04/2020: edited a few errors and added a few lines here and there.
> 
> Hello there!  
This is an entirely self-indulgent fic, written for self-indulgent reasons.  
I recently re-read phase 2 and there's a part in Resurrection when Skulduggery reveals that he met when she was a baby.  
I wanted cute Baby Steph and SP, so I wrote it.  
:-)

If nothing else, Gordon Edgley was exceptionally proud of his niece.

He was, in fact, proud of everything he had ever done, he was a genius, a bestselling author and a charming man. This, however, wasn’t enough to keep his dear Melissa from falling into his brother’s, Desmond, arms. But he was good-natured about the whole situation and simply stepped to the side without so much as a sniffle, because he was a charming man and that also made him incredibly nice. Melissa and Desmond loved each other; he could see that.

He was prouder of their first child, Stephanie, than anything he had ever accomplished, and he had accomplished many extraordinary things. He was an extraordinary man with talents far beyond compare, and he was let in on the Big Secret no mortal was allowed to know. That made him a secret keeper, that made him _special. _

He could go on for hours about his adventures and talent but the baby in his very capable arms decided to gurgle very cutely up at him. Gordon smiled down at her, then frowned, wondering if she knew what a smile meant.

‘Ah, probably not.’ He mumbled, smiling again, making noise at her.

‘Probably not, what?’ His brother, Des, asked as he padded into one of Gordon’s living rooms from the kitchen, sandwich in hand.

‘Nothing, just talking to myself.’ Gordon didn’t bother to look up.

‘First sign of madness.’ Des grinned.

‘It’s the only way I can guarantee myself a decent conversation.’

‘You might want to hold that thought.’ Melissa said, walking in with a bag slung over her shoulder. ‘Stephanie might give you a run for your money.’

Des laughed; Gordon looked at him.

‘Is that my sandwich?’ He asked, brows raised.

Des said nothing as he slowly stuffed the entire thing in his mouth, struggling to chew, swallowing thickly, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

Gordon opened his mouth to say something in protest but was interrupted by Stephanie babbling.

‘She does have an intelligently shaped head.’ He agreed.

‘You think?’ Melissa asked, Des choked a little but managed to force the food down his throat.

‘Well as far as heads go.’ Gordon shrugged. 

‘Of course, she’s intelligent, she’s an Edgley after all.’ Desmond replied with a nod of his head, voice raspy with sandwich bits.

Melissa laughed and slid the bag off her shoulder, letting it drop on one of the extravagant couches.

‘This is for Stephanie; you’ll find all that you’ll probably need in here. And we’ll drop by to pick her up early tomorrow morning, okay? I expect to return to a fully intact baby.’

‘Don’t worry.’ Gordon said. ‘She’s with me, what could _possibly _go wrong?’

Des patted him on his back and Melissa gave him a withering look.

‘If you say so.’ She said, not sounding entirely convinced.

‘If you’d rather her stay with Ber-’

‘Nope! Absolutely not!’ Des blurted.

‘Even if she has a better chance at survival?’ Gordon asked, laughing.

‘Stephanie, I’m sorry. But if you die, you die.’

‘I’d rather her stay with you, Gordon, than Beryl.’ Melissa said, suddenly reassured.

‘And this has everything to do with my fabulous parenting skills and absolutely nothing to do with Beryl as a person?’

Melissa hesitated.

‘Oh, look at the time!’ Des said, looking at his wrist, making sure everyone could see what he was doing. It would have been slightly believable if Desmond had remembered to put on his watch that morning.

‘We really must be leaving.’ Melissa agreed.

‘Now Stephanie,’ Desmond leant down to talk softly at her. ‘Gordon’s a bit of an idiot, so you’ll have to take care of yourself. I know, I never thought this day would come either, you’ve grown up so fast. Take care of Gordon for us.’

‘Be good Stephanie.’ Melissa laughed.

‘Have fun tonight.’ Gordon said as he watched them leave, happy baby Stephanie making happy baby noises as they left.

‘You know what Stephanie?’ He asked. ‘I completely agree with you.’

\---

Gordon was completely out of his depth; happy baby Stephanie had lasted for about twenty minutes after his brother and his wife had left. The shrill wailing echoed around the house and Gordon had tried _everything. _He’d changed her diaper, shoved an assortment of variously coloured toys at her, tried to put her down for a sleep but absolutely nothing was working. Gordon could feel his ears shrivelling up with each screech, scream and sob.

‘Stephanie.’ He cooed, gently picking her up out of the crib he’d bought. ‘Please stop crying.’

He was so out of depth; he wasn’t beneath a little begging.

‘If you stop crying,’ He said, looking around for a bargaining chip. ‘You can have my house, it’s very big and fancy.’

Stephanie stopped and looked up at him with wide baby eyes.

‘Ah.’ He sagged. ‘Didn’t think that one through.’

The relief was short-lived though, she started crying again just as quickly as she had stopped. Gordon tried to gently rock her in his arms, but nothing was working, and he started to feel a little sorry for himself.

‘Bloody hell, you’ve got some lungs.’ He muttered.

Gordon’s phone rang from across the room, the Imperial March somehow reached Gordon’s ears over all the crying, Stephanie wailed louder with the noise. He scrambled over to the table his phone was set on, keeping Stephanie pressed into his shoulder as answered with one hand. She hiccupped little cries into his shoulder.

‘Hello?’ He sounded frantic; he didn’t like that and took a deep breath in.

‘Gordon?’ Skulduggery Pleasant asked, his voice like velvet.

‘Ah, Skulduggery my friend. How are you on this fine evening?’

‘I’m grand.’ He answered; Stephanie wailed. ‘Is that you?’

‘No.’

‘Ah. Well, I don’t wish to alarm you but I’m standing outside.’

‘I’ll let you in.’ Gordon dropped his phone on the couch after ending the call, opening the door wide open.

‘Is there something you’d like to share?’ Skulduggery asked as he took in the picture of Gordon with a baby in his arms.

The crying continued, Gordon sighed and stepped to the side to let the thin man dressed in a dark suit inside.

‘Skulduggery meet Stephanie.’

Stephanie howled.

‘She certainly seems pleased to meet me.’

‘She’s been crying for hours now.’ Gordon said with a little sigh, hours, of course, meaning a little over 20 minutes.

‘Give her here.’ Skulduggery outstretched his arms expectantly.

Normal people would be concerned about handing over a 6-month old to an ancient undead skeleton, but Gordon wasn’t normal people and felt no hesitation as he handed her to him.

It was an odd sight, Skulduggery with a baby in his bony arms, but it was a sight Gordon would never forget as he rocked her back and forth. He cooed down at her with his soothing voice and while Stephanie stubbornly didn’t stop wailing, Gordon could definitely hear the cries getting softer.

‘Are you going to close the door?’

‘Ah.’ Gordon closed the door.

‘She’s hungry.’ Skulduggery said as Stephanie wailed again. ‘When did you feed her last?’

Gordon hesitated.

‘Is it possible,’ Skulduggery asked. ‘That you forgot?’

‘I’ll… I’ll go warm up a bottle for her.’ Gordon turned on his heel to grab the supplies Melissa had left for him.

Skulduggery laughed low and followed him.

‘It’s okay now, little Stephanie, the competent one is here.’ He murmured.

Gordon handed Skulduggery the bottle after mixing the powder with water and warming it.

‘Did you test it?’

‘Test what?’

‘The milk, did you test it?’

‘The taste?’

Skulduggery sighed and gave the bottle back to Gordon.

‘Test the temperature on your skin, so we don’t hurt her mouth.’

‘Oh,’ Gordon exclaimed as he did what he was told. ‘You’re good at this.’

‘I’ve had experience.’ Skulduggery shrugged.

Gordon handed him the bottle back after deeming it safe.

‘So,’ Skulduggery asked as he fed Stephanie, the wailing dying down instantly as she drank hungrily. ‘Who in their right mind would leave you with a baby?’

‘My brother and his wife are going to a party tonight and I graciously volunteered after days of begging.’

‘They begged you?’

‘No, I begged them.’

‘Ah.’

‘Anyway, what are you doing here?’

‘The usual, investigating things, hitting people, making sarcastic comments.’

‘Don’t you dare lay a hand on my niece.’ Gordon laughed.

‘Wouldn’t dream of it, Gordon.’

Stephanie giggled up at him, bottle finished and satisfied.

‘That didn’t take long.’ Skulduggery took the bottle from her and Gordon took it from him.

‘She looks happy.’ Gordon commented as he put the bottle in the sink.

‘I have that effect on people.’

‘You’re not just here for a social call, are you?’

‘I wish, there’s a case I need your help on.’

‘Oh? You need my help?’

‘You still have your research from the Avaliears?’

‘The underwater sorcerer tribe?’ Gordon frowned.

‘That’s the one.’

‘It should be in my study somewhere, why?’

‘The octopus-people have started killing mortals apparently, I’m here to figure out why before the sanctuary takes action, not that it matters. They’ll probably still be wiped out.’

‘Ah, well come up to my study then. Bring Stephanie, I’m sure she’d love to be involved.’

‘Well, If she’s anything like you.’

Gordon chuckled and lead the way up to the study, Skulduggery followed close behind with Stephanie. He shifted her to lay against his chest with her head on his shoulder, freeing up one hand and holding her with the other.

The Avaliears were once an above-water civilisation but sometime during Mevolent’s war, they sunk themselves down into the depths of the ocean, wanting nothing to do with any of it. Many of the sorcerers drowned, the ones who survived had mutated over time. In all honesty, Skulduggery didn’t care much for the octopus-people, they were slimy, smelly, unpleasant to deal with and had a horrid taste in fashion.

‘Ah, here it is.’ Gordon said after a few minutes of looking. He pulled a thick leather-bound journal from one of his secret shelves and produced it on the table for Skulduggery to see.

Skulduggery leaned over the table, his hand carefully steadying the baby on his chest as he turned the pages.

‘These are very detailed.’ Skulduggery commented, scanning the information Gordon had taken.

‘I was planning on using them for my next novel, but now I’m not so sure. 8-armed octopus-people? I mean, not exactly believable in the slightest.’

‘Gordon, you write fantasy-horror novels.’

‘But if they weren’t _slightly _believable, they wouldn’t be truly scary.’

Stephanie gurgled and wriggled in Skulduggery’s hold.

‘An excellent point, Stephanie.’ Skulduggery praised.

‘Looks like you’ve found yourself a partner there, Skulduggery.’ Gordon nodded.

‘She seems to be on the case.’ Skulduggery sat her down on Gordon’s desk next to the journal, supporting the back of her with his hand.

Stephanie liked the big table, and she liked the two men who sat on opposite sides of it. She liked their voices and she most definitely liked the big brown book that sat next to her. She reached out and slapped a hand down on the pages, playing, giggling as she did. She gripped the top corner of the journal, dragging it lazily towards her.

‘Careful not to rip the pages, Stephanie.’ Gordon warned. ‘Skulduggery needs that.’

Stephanie laughed a baby laugh and stuck her foot out.

‘Hang on.’ Skulduggery said, pulling the journal towards him. ‘I think she’s just found the answer.’

‘What? You can’t be-’

_‘Aveliears can sense the overbearing threat of war upon them, they will react violently and without mercy to those who threaten their peaceful way of life.’ _Skulduggery read aloud.

‘So? They can sense war?’ Gordon asked. ‘What’s that got to do with the dead mortals?’

‘All the dead mortals were wearing Navy uniform. The island must be close enough to the surface for them to sense the threat.’

‘The island must be rising back up then.’ Gordon pondered. ‘But why?’

‘I’d bet that when they sunk themselves all those years ago, they didn’t consider the mutation. That probably took some of their magic. If the island suddenly reappears, there’s no way we could keep it from the mortals.’

‘You should probably call the sanctuary.’ Gordon nodded.

‘If you’ll excuse me for a second.’ Skulduggery agreed.

Gordon held Stephanie as Skulduggery left the study, phone in hand.

‘Look at you go Stephanie.’ Gordon praised. ‘I knew you were intelligent, it’s that wonderfully shaped head of yours.’

‘I don’t think we’ll be hearing from the Avaliears for a while.’ Skulduggery stepped back into the room.

Stephanie reached out her little arms for Skulduggery, quite clearly wanting to go to him. Skulduggery tilted his head, Gordon obliged and passed her to him.

‘She likes you.’

‘I _am _very likeable.’

‘I think you’ve found a new partner in crime.’

‘Indeed.’ Skulduggery held Stephanie close to him, in his arms, as she drifted off to sleep, the excitement proving to be too much for her as her tiny eyelids drooped.

Gordon asked Skulduggery to stay overnight. Of course, he could have managed all on his own, but Skulduggery had a specific sadness to him as he took care of her. He could see it in the way he held her, in the way he spoke soothing words when she started to cry and wasn’t in the slightest upset when she spit up on his suit. Gordon felt an overwhelming bout of sadness as he watched them. He knew what had happened to Skulduggery’s own child, all those years ago, and Gordon wondered to himself if Skulduggery had ever considered adopting.

Stephanie fussed every time she was taken from Skulduggery, so she slept soundly through the night in his arms. It was a good thing Skulduggery didn’t need sleep, Gordon thought as he wearily climbed the stairs up to his own room, glancing back as he went. Skulduggery sat cross legged on the couch, cradling her in his arms, Gordon smiled.

Skulduggery didn’t meditate that night.

\---

When he awoke the next morning, Skulduggery was gone, and Stephanie was fast asleep in her crib. He showered and dressed quickly, having enough time to eat a bit of the toast he’d made until Stephanie awoke with a cry. He had barely enough time to calm her until Melissa and Desmond knocked on his door.

‘Hey, Stephanie.’ Melissa scooped her up out of Gordon’s arms. ‘I see you’re in one piece.’

Stephanie laughed as Desmond pulled her from Melissa and kissed all over her face.

‘We missed you. Not last night though.’ Desmond paused his kisses to say. ‘My _god_ we didn’t miss you last night.’

Melissa slapped his arm.

‘Was everything okay last night, Gordon?’

‘Oh, yes. She was a perfectly happy baby.’

‘You didn't forget to feed her, or anything did you?’

Gordon hesitated. ‘Why would you think that?’

‘I was just joking.’ Melissa laughed. ‘Unless there’s something you-’

‘Nope, nothing. Stephanie was a joy and I was exceptional at taking care of her.’ Gordon cut her off.

‘Right, well thanks for babysitting.’ Melissa said as she gathered up Stephanie’s things. ‘The party was amazingly boring.’

‘But fun times were had, don’t you worry.’ Des winked. ‘But just so you know, we’re going to abuse your babysitting capabilities forever.’

Gordon laughed and Stephanie giggled as Des lifted her up high.

**Author's Note:**

> Peace x


End file.
